How to Love Your Damn Self
In this must-read post, Olivia + Laura share the ultimate guide to loving your damn self and the steps to get there.
First and foremost, loving yourself is not selfish and, if anyone makes you feel that way, then kick that negativity out of your life. Now, it may be because Mercury is in retrograde (as our TikTok has reminded us multiple times) or because we're women in our twenties trying to find our footing in life but, we are finding it hard to love ourselves fully. A lot of people may be feeling like this right now, and that's alright! You do not have the be okay all the time, but an issue arises when the same recurrent insecurity knocks you down every day.
We're all trying to get to the same destination, but we're on different paths with different hurdles. The thing is, we can't let these roadblocks stop us & we have to put in the work to get to the ultimate destination where we reach self-love. This work is on-going and sometimes unpleasant but, it bears fruit.
In this blog post, we will share with you what we're doing on our self-love journey. We're not experts, but we understand the struggle, and if these are the tips and tricks that have worked for us, then why not try them for yourself.
Meditation is an essential part of our self-love journey because it allows for a moment of the day spent on ourselves. This can be tricky, especially when there is a multitude of thoughts racing through our minds. But it forces you to shift your thoughts away from all the hustle and bustle of life and just detach. The pressure of each day weighs a lot and, meditation literally relieves you of that suffocating feeling to make you feel serene.
Don't believe us? Try it for yourself. Platform like FitOn, Spotify and the Calm app have a bunch of audios to listen to by you can also try out the You are Enough meditation by Lisa A. Romano to ease your way into this process.
O+L TIP: Meditate before bed for a good night's sleep. Your body is strong enough to repair itself. Heal your body, heal your mind.
BE MINDFUL: PODCASTS & BOOKS
Self-love is a process. It doesn't just happen; we have to take steps to better ourselves to fall in love with ourselves. When you are in a relationship with someone, you do everything you can to know their ins-and-outs. So, why aren't we doing the same? We are the only assured long-term partner we have, so we have to start getting to know ourselves. Do you know where we learned that? Books and Podcasts.
Podcasts and self-help books are a great way to do this. They have the power to make you analyze every aspect of your life and have you realize the triggers you never knew existed. It is so odd that we are the only people who can truly understand our bodies and mind, yet pin-pointing our trauma is so foreign to us.
Here are a few podcasts and books that made us rethink how we see ourselves & focus on healing.
FEED YOUR SOUL
When we feed our body with hearty and healthy foods, we are caring for it. Nurturing yourself is loving yourself. Many of us have unhealthy relationships with food, and we'll be the first to say that sometimes we feel guilty for overeating or eating the "wrong" things, but we need to change that mentality. Nutritious meals fuel us, and eating healthy foods is scientifically proven to make us happier. Although food like mac cheese or chocolate croissants also makes us feel good; so why deny ourselves of life's pleasures. Don't fixate on the food choices you make because everything is fine in moderation. Make the appropriate choices that will feed your stomach and your soul but continue to love yourself when you indulge sometimes.
Treating yourself means doing something you enjoy that leaves you feeling genuinely happy. Something you do for the simple enjoyment of it. Could be anything from pampering yourself to baking your favourite dessert. The strongest relationship you will ever have is with yourself. So strengthen that relationship by treating yourself the way you would treat any of your partners. Take yourself out on a date, buy yourself flowers, have a "me" day or anything to make yourself feel special. Remember to love yourself first!
MOVE YOUR BODY
Moving your body is proven to reduce anxiety, depression and brighten your negative mood. It improves self esteem and emits confidence. It could be in the form of a workout or even a simple walk. Get outside and breathe in some fresh air. We promise you that even just a 30-minute walk around your neighbourhood will make you feel so refreshed. Combine this step with another by listening to your favourite self-love podcast or listening to some mood-booster songs. Remember to stop and smell the roses on your journey!
TAKE TIME AWAY FROM YOUR PHONE
We know what it's like to spend hours just scrolling through social media or watching Tik Toks. To avoid this, we are trying to limit our screen time on specific apps. Your phone actually allows you to set these limits so you will be reminded when your time is almost up. You know your own limits so set them to what you think is right for you. Another thing we have been trying to do recently is stay off our phones for an hour after waking up. We know, we know, this is an extremely difficult task - it is almost always the first thing we check in the morning! Replace that daily "task" with something else, like reading a book for an hour, meditating, journaling, enjoying your morning coffee outside (if the weather allows), etc.
DAILY AFFIRMATIONS & MANTRAS
One of our 2021 resolutions was to practice manifestation. As we already know, there are many different forms of manifestation - one of them being daily affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements in the present tense that are directly related to what you want to manifest. Affirmations can be said in the morning, at night or both. Make sure to repeat your affirmations, out loud, at least three times. Here are some self-love affirmations we've been loving.
Use the affirmations that resonate the most with you. Feel free to modify any of these to make them more personal to you and your goals. You can combine more than one affirmation together if you are trying to manifest different things.
I am powerful, confident, and capable of reaching all my dreams.
I am in control of my happiness.
I love and accept all of me.
I am powerful and confident.
I believe in myself and all of my abilities.
I am just who I was meant to be at this point in my life — no more, no less. I am whole, flaws and all.
I am doing the best I can in my situation.
I am worthy of love and attention.
I love my body and all that it does for me.
One thing we don't allow ourselves to feel is sadness. We want to be okay all the time, and if we're not then, we shove it away. Obviously, we are not encouraging you to be sad all-day-everyday but, sometimes we are just not feeling it. So take this day to lounge in bed, watch TikTok, and order takeout. Then, go to bed and wake up as a new person the next day! Don't soak in your misery but taking time to do nothing is self-love! You are acknowledging your feelings and listening to what your mind and body want. It is that simple.
Thank you so much for reading this week's article. We've wanted to write this article for a while now and, we hope it gave you the big sister advice you needed. There is so much more to say about this topic so if you want to see more articles about self-love and confidence, let us know in the comments or on Instagram @oliviafuscoo and @lauradelgrossoo.
See you next week, lovelies!