Breakups are hard. But how do you go about getting over someone you never even dated? Olivia + Laura offer their advice!
Little disclaimer O+L gang, this article was written a while ago and was never intended for the blog. But, after sharing stories with the women in our lives and seeing the hundreds of TikTok storytimes of girls led on by guys, only to be ghosted, we thought it was time for this post to see the light of day.
When you have a crush, you feel an array of emotions that make the butterflies in your stomach feel more like a frenzy of zoo animals. We’ve all experienced the rosy cheeks from blushing and the over-analyzation of every text that is sent back and forth. But what happens when this was all an unrequited crush, that leads to the inevitable ghosting? How do we recover the pieces of what could’ve been, when it never began? Well, this happened to us and we had to figure out how to get over someone we never even dated.
As heartbreaking as that was, we were determined to mend a broken heart. These are the steps we followed to really move on from the one that got away:
Treat it like a Relationship
Regardless if you dated them or not, you were prepared to be in a relationship with this person. Therefore, you extracted pieces of your armor and were prepared to fall. Yet that person wasn’t prepared to catch you, and it hurt-- a lot. So, give yourself time to grieve the loss and don’t feel guilty crying over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. This will sort through the multitude of emotions and cause some much-needed reflection upon whether this person was a crush or something more. But, keep this grieving period brief. They are not worth more than a couple of days of sorrow and you should not occupy your time obsessing over someone who hardly thinks of you.
Delete, Delete, Delete
Stop holding onto old conversations! Delete them and eradicate your phone of anything that evokes memories of them. As millennials, we are constantly on our phones and don’t need relentless reminders each time we open our text messages and catch a glimpse of the last conversation had. This leads to the reminiscing on the good old times, creating nostalgia and the inevitable contemplation of what if. Or worse, these trinkets may trigger desperation, leading you to send that dreadful “u up?” text at 2 am.
Distract Yourself
If they do pop into your mind (and they will) distract yourself by shifting your focus onto something better. Our brains are wired to associate relevant information with details we already have stored in our memory to make the recollection process easier. In simpler terms, our brains have constructed a bridge correlating our crush with the feeling of love, and everything associated. As a result, whenever we see a couple holding hands on the metro or kissing in a movie, our brains bring the thought of the person who left us at the forefront of our memory.
We need to demolish this bridge! So, go out with your friends and keep yourself surrounded by people with positive energies. As more distractions flood your memories, the bridge will become weathered and eventually fall into the abyss.
Boy, Bye & Girl, Hi
This is the most crucial step, which is why it’s time to play some Arianna Grande and join the thank you, next movement. At this point, you should abandon this terrible crush and move onto something beneficial- while falling in love with yourself. Once you recognize this person was merely a stepping stone into the future, you will discover your worth and realize that if this person can’t love you then someone else gladly will. Do not permit this one person to be the reason you feel insecure. Accordingly, queue some Hailey Steinfeld Love Myself and recognize you are not just a snack; you are a full course meal, and will soon be cherished by someone who appreciates the importance of fine dining.
Thank you for reading this weeks blog post! We strayed from our usual content this week, but we hope that you loved this post nonetheless.
If you've experienced a situation like this, we're sorry. It's never easy to go through but the universe has a plan for us which means that better things are on the horizon.
See you all next week :)
Xoxo,
